Allez-oop! He gives me head

Jag påmindes idag om den märkliga tvillingen Jet Boy, Jet Girl med gaypunkiga Elton Motello (det första klippet, från tyska Plattenküche inkl reklaminslag) respektive Ça Plane Pour Moi med Plastic Bertrand (det andra klippet, från något franskt program där singbacken hackar). Elton Motellos låt släpptes i november 1977, Bertrands version kom månaden efter och hade samma melodi, var rentav inspelad med samma musiker (Bertrand var trummis i Elton Motello). Sedan verkar det ha mynnat ut i en tvist om vem som var det riktiga Elton Motello  (läs mer om det och klura eventuellt ut den röran här eller här).

En sak står däremot fullkomligt klart: Texterna i Jet Boy, Jet Girl och Ça Plane Pour Moi är diametralt olika.

Jet Boy, Jet Girl handlar om en femtonårig kille som har sex med en annan kille:

Can you tell what’s on my mind? / She’s with him, it drives me wild /
I’d like to hit him on the head / until he’s dead / The sight of blood is such a high /
Ooh, hoo, hoo, hoo / He gives me head

We made it on a ballroom blitz / I took his arm and kissed his lips
He looked at me with such a smile / my face turned red / We booked a room into the Ritz
Ooh, hoo, hoo, hoo / He gives me head

Jet boy, jet girl / Gonna take you ’round the world
Jet boy I’m gonna make him penetrate / I’m gonna make you be a girl
Ooh, hoo, hoo, hoo / Jet boy jet girl

And though I’m only just fifteen / I like to kick, I like to scream
And even if I have a kick or two in bed / When I’m with him it’s just a dream
Ooh, hoo, hoo, hoo / He gives me head

Jet boy, jet girl / Gonna take you ’round the world
Jet boy I’m gonna make him penetrate / I’m gonna make you be a girl
Ooh, hoo, hoo, hoo / Jet boy jet girl

The other day, what a surprise / I saw him with some other guys
God he was dressed up / with a girl around his neck / I could have cried with both my eyes
Ooh, hoo, hoo, hoo / He gave me head

And if or when I make it through / Or if my brain is stuck on glue
And when the world tries to forget / all that I’ve said / I’ll still remember you
Ooh, hoo, hoo, hoo / You gave me head

Jet boy, jet girl / Gonna take you ’round the world
Jet boy I’m gonna make him penetrate / I’m gonna make you be a girl
Ooh, hoo, hoo, hoo / Jet boy jet girl

Jet boy, jet girl / Gonna take you ’round the world
Jet boy I’m gonna make him penetrate / I’m gonna make you be a girl
Ooh, hoo, hoo, hoo / Jet boy jet girl

Medan Ça Plane Pour Moi i ungefärlig engelsk överättning blir:

Wham! Bam! my cat Splash / lies on my bed with his tongue puffed out
by drinking all my whisky. / As for me, not enough sleep, drained, persecuted,
I had to sleep in the gutter / where I had a flash
Oooo-ooo-ooo-ooo! / in four colours

Allez-oop! One morning / a darling came to my home,
a cellophane puppet with Chinese hair, / a plaster, a hangover,
drank my beer in a large rubber glass
Oooo-ooo-ooo-ooo! / like an Indian in his igloo

This works for me, this works for me / This works for me me me me me
This works for me / Oooo-ooo-ooo-ooo! / This works for me

Allez-oop! The chick***, what a gas! / what a vibration! to be sent on the door mat
filed, ruined, drained, filled / You are the King of the divan (the couch)! / she says to me in passing
Oooo-ooo-ooo-ooo! /I am the King of the divan

This works for me, this works for me / This works for me me me me me
This works for me / Oooo-ooo-ooo-ooo! / This works for me

Allez-oop! Don’t mind, don’t worry / Don’t affect me
It’s not today / that the sky will fall on my head / and I’ll be without glue
Oooo-ooo-ooo-ooo! / This life’s for me

Allez-oop! my chick has gone away, / flew away, finally had enough, to break
the sink, the bar, leaving me alone / like a complete jerk
Oooo-ooo-ooo-ooo! / I’ve put my foot in it

This works for me, this works for me / This works for me me me me me
This works for me / Oooo-ooo-ooo-ooo! / This works for me
This works for me, this works for me / This works for me me me me me

Och någonstans här inser jag att det kanske är bäst att hålla sig till Leila K:s tolkning av Ça Plane Pour Moi ändå, hon lyckas ju hotta upp den där mumbojumbon såpass att dj:s fortfarande fyller ett dansgolv varenda gång låten åker på.